Do-It-Yourself??

As I sit here, my son has a swimmy on his arm that he cannot get off. He keeps trying and trying, but no success. What does he do? Does he quickly come to mommy who knows how to get it off? Or does he do what most others would do...fuss, fight, pull, and tug at the thing trying to take it off of himself? Hmmm...doesn't this sound familiar! I do this way more than I should with the things in my life. When there is something in my life that is not so near and dear to my heart like one of my pet sins, then I am more likely to run to the Father for him to pull it off. When it is that which easily becomes a stronghold for me, I am more reluctant to go to Him "once again" to have him remove it. Why is this? You may think that sounds so ridiculous to wait and try to take off something I know that I cannot do in my own strength and go to the one who can. I will give you my theory as to why I believe I do this:

1) I do this because I don't want to admit that once again I have let that thing overcome me, therefore I am ashamed.
2) I am prideful in thinking I can handle it on my own.
3)Maybe I am trying to nurse an old wound that has revealed itself again and it is what brings me comfort.
4) A crisis has sprung up in my life and it is what brought me comfort in the past and I have become to lazy to run to the truth of what I know, therefore falling back into old patterns.
5) Pure rebelliousness- if you have never had a rebellious heart I would encourage you to STOP know and thank the Lord for that!!! I cannot tell you how difficult it can be to have a rebellious heart!

I realize I as have written this it may be a little too vulnerable and personal to handle, and that is OK with me. I have been told many times how open, honest, and vulnerable I am. I hope I am not doing it out of "dumping" on anyone, although I am sure that I have done that before. I have been wired to purge it all out. I have learned for the most part to do this only to the Lord and not purge on others what does not need to be purged.

My husband is a very private person and finds it amazing that I can be so honest. I am learning to be more like him. I don't need to share every gory detail with everyone....but I will still continue to share it with God.

I may keep my swimmy on and pull, tug, and fuss...but I am learning to run to the Father first and not let so much wasted and frustrating time go by.

Are you still wearing any siwimmies?