The Lion Tamer

So today has been one of those days where I wonder if I traded in my diplomas for a Ringmaster's costume and am in charge of the lion act at the circus. It all started when I woke earlier than usual to get a jump start on my quiet time (so I didn't eat the lions for breakfast). Well, I got about 15 minutes into it when I heard little voices. How I wish those had been voices in my head, but alas, it was my children. Oh, how I could see it all going down hill in a matter of 2 hours because they got up way to early and they would be fighting like big cats (no pun intended).

I will make this post as painless as possible and not go through my day step by step, but lets just say by 10:00 (AM mind you) I was about to be in tears because I had to send one child to her room ( who will remain anonymous) because she was...well...I won't rehash all of that. I will just keep it to a "she had to do her school work in her room by herself for a certain amount of time because she was exercising freedom of speech a little too freely". She hates to be seperated like that, so it that usually helps remind her not to do it again.

While one lion was in time out for almost eating her sibling, brother lion was not wanting to cooperate with his potty training. On top of all of that, our neighbors detest us because we have a dog that likes to destroy anything that resembles flowers, and well, this is spring and we all know what happens in the spring. We have been trying to use the shock collar thing, but my husband and I are both chickens and don't want to see her be put through such trauma...plus the dog has figured it out and doesn't even want to go outside. She is hyper, needs to run, but can't due to her being a pest to the neighbors so she stays in. By the end of the evening she is dying for some freedom and needing to burn off energy, so she wants to play at all hours of the night!! I am
O-V-E-R it big time!

So by 10:00 (am) I smell like pee pee, my eyebrows are wrinkled and frownie, and am ready to give the dog to the first person that comes to the door. When the dust settles and all is quiet at nap time and all are tucked happily in their beds, I take a deep sigh of relief and say "I would do it all over again."

I think I need a shrink.

Random Thought

I am one of those people that loves to break out into song and dance just about anytime, anywhere. I don't know why, but it just somehow seems like a natural part of me. I am not one of those people who are so talented in their singing that they just can't get enough. No, it's quite the opposite. My family can tolerate me but that is only because they love me. Maybe it comes from listening to Debbie Gibson and watching the fly girls to much as a young girl. Who knows why I do it, but I do...and I enjoy it. The funny part of it all is that my daughter does the same thing and it is so great to hear her becuase she gets the opera tuen going.

Priceless.

My Patmos

Have you ever thought about where you sit today as being a place of isolation or exile? Maybe you are surrounded by many people, but somehow you still are left to feel alone or misunderstood. Maybe this place of exile is exactly where God has told you to be but the level of frustration and loneliness is enough to make you want to go back to the life you had before where you could count on comfort and consistency.

I am there. I am in a place where God has led me to be but so many days I sit and wonder what on earth am I doing? I shouldn't be so worked up about mounds of laundry, never ending grocery shopping, meals to prepare, noses to wipe, and fights to break up. That's right. I stay at home. But if that weren't enough...I homeschool as well. It doesn't matter what my position on earth is because I believe these issues crop up in every calling that God has set in place.

Just today I was wanting to throw up my hands in the air and say I give up because I am soooooooooo tired of the clutter and toys. My house will never look like a showcase because we have do dads and gadgets that will be found peeking out from behind the couch, under the stove, and sometimes in the refrigerator (yes, that last one has happened). I have been questioned by many as to why I do what I do, do I ever get a break, and "does your husband help?" I know people mean well and just want to help, but sometimes I feel as though they are doing nothing more than to help my faith weaken. Of course I take a break when I need it. Of course my husband helps or else I would have already thrown in the towel. But I can't explain why I do what I do. Maybe like John, I keep weathering the elements of Patmos because of my love. Not only my love for my family, but because of my love for Jesus. Without him there is NO WAY I would do what I am doing. There is no way I could stay with my children day in, day out and school them. There is no way I would still be giving my dog one more day in this household.

I shouldn't say that I wouldn't...I couldn't. I can't tell you how many times the Lord has brought peace in an un peaceful situation. Or how many times he has made our dollars stretch a little further so we could refresh ourselves with an outing to get ice cream. I love when the morning has been rough and he replenishes all of of with a long rest time!

I told a friend one time that through the last couple of years of learning to transition into parenthood with some major baggage in tow, I felt as though I was climbing Mt. Everest in the winter in a bathing suit! Talk about being beaten and weathered against in the elements. Maybe that is how John felt minus the bathing suit. He lasted. He didn't give up. He didn't lay down and die. he worshipped. He loved all alone. No one to watch him. No one to talk to him. Nothing but him and sharp rocks with harsh elements. But on the Lord's day he received the greatest revelation of all.

He lasted becuase of love. I last because of love. It is amazing how much love I have learned to feel and share in my isolation from the world. God is pretty amazing!