Today is one of those days where I now know why I was gently awakened way more early than I am used to, to have some quiet time. I knew it was coming. It is almost like I can feel a storm brewing. You know how some older people know when it is going to rain because they start to feel the pain in their joints...well, that was me this morning. I wasn't feeling my usually "I can make it today" kind of feelings. It was Lord, I really don't want to face anything, decide anything, or put up with anything kind of day. Well, it is inevitable to not dodge people or things that will let us down, children that will whine and complain, and fight, and a dog that chews on anything she gets her paws on! Today is not a mechanically smooth day...which I can deal with...it is just so hard to. It is so hard in the midst of all of the things that I am trying to get my kids to understand and stop doing that I have realized my own need for a change of heart. Just because someone lets me down today, doesn't mean I write them off because chances are, I am going to be let down again and again and again.

I am really weary of dealing with the constant complaining and whining. I just got finished for the 101st time saying "Emily, I have not heard anything come out of your mouth today but griping and complaining. You have not said thank you mom one time today for anything I have done, you have argued with your brother to no end, and you have been ungrateful for anything you have laid your eyes this morning. Please tell me what the Bible says about griping and complaining?" By this time I am starting to feel my own convictions about how I have let me self feel.

I am disheartened by this little discovery, so Iset up a missions video about other people without the same privileges. This is not a guilt trip...you don't know my kids...Strong willed children think the world revolves around them, so I am trying desperately to connect them to the world instead!

As I was speaking, I said a few things that I had to stop and tell her that I was doing the same things too. I had not told God how thankful I was to be at home today teaching my children His word and truth. I have not been grateful to be in a warm home and have money to put food on the table and more shoes for my children than we can count because the dog keeps finding them. I have been selfish, ungrateful, and quite honestly...miserable. I have thrown the best pity parties for myself, but the sad part is is that no one shows up but me.

I am tired of partying this way...it is really quite a bummer to be the only one there. Lord, forgive me for being so unaware of your goodness and mercy because I have allowed the cloud of ungratefulness to cloud my mind. I ask that you help me to turn my frustrations into peace and joy. I am allowing my self to live without peace because I am letting the frustrations of small children get the best of me.

Galatians 6:9 " For let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart"