A Glorious Day

Today was the day of my first born's baptism. I can't narrow down the feelings that I have about this day. Parts of me never thought I would never experience such a day, and the other parts were counting down the days from the time I learned I was pregnant with her.

I am not only relieved that my child with be with me for all eternity, but also to experience the faithfulness of God and the grace that he extends.

As I watched my baby girl step down into that water and watch the paradox of the old life and new life be buried and raised, I couldn't help but to reflect on my life and the life of my family members that have lived before me. There have been very few believers in my family tree. Our tree has been one in which many limbs were bruised and broken through the roots of bitterness and pride, abuse and alcohol.

I am not the only one, but today I saw the thread of God's grace, but I witnessed a new thread being started. I hate the idea of not having a family full of believers because sometimes it is really difficult to figure out which path to go or how to be full of faith when there seems to be nothing to hope for. I think of all the times that I didn't know whether or not she and I were going to make it together under the same roof.

Some may have looked at her and thought she looked to young, but I know my girl and I know she was ready. I have been in the trenches with this child day in and day out, I know what she is capable of and what she isn't. I was with her when she first asked me about becoming a christian and I was skeptical at first, but then it became very clear that the Lord had spoken to her heart.

I had to make a decision this morning as she was going under that water. I had to realize that she is not mine to control and that God has a specific plan for her life. She is not to be molded into what I want her to be, but what the Lord wants. OUCH! I have to prepare her for the greatness of God...not to just be great. OK, take that one in! I have to let go of what "my" dreams are for her and pray for her to follow in the paths of righteousness not the paths of mommy.

Can I allow my daughter to be great even in the ordinary of life? Don't all moms hope for the best and brightest for their children...so what if mine doesn't achieve greatness that this world says is great. What if she turns out to be a homeschooling mom just like me? Am I OK with that?? am I OK with her giving up her dreams of being something great? My answer is:

100 times yes because if it is what God has planned for her life, then it is great. I didn't give up anything but what wasn't mine to fulfill. I had many dreams as a child, but they clearly wouldn't have fit with having a family. I have given up my life for someone else and it feels just like a tennis ball hitting the center of a raquet perfectly...as Max Lucado coined it "the sweet spot."

Today was hitting the sweet spot for me. It was seeing a small harvest to many prayers offered from the time of conception.

I haven't even begun to wear down the material on the knees of my sweats in praying for my children, and I am so thankful I don't have to plan it all out for them I have the privilege to show them to the ONE who does!