No Comparison

I am tired. I am weary. I am keeping the faith as best as I can, and trying to keep on doing good and know that someday I will reap a harvest. I don't know if I am totally believing with all of my heart just yet, but I think it is just the crust in the corner of my eye that is keeping me from seeing the light. I went through my college career as newlywed, went through Graduate school (counseling program no less) with a toddler at home. Everyone thought I was crazy, lost it, completely nuts...but I knew God called me to it, so he would bring me through it...and He did. I didn't think that I would survive all that I did, but I am still here typing away. I had many weary nights, many tears, many fights, but He still held me up and told me to keep going, that I could do it. I knew I had to obey. I knew that one day there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. That light did come and 4 weeks later my next child came as well. Now I am here without a paying job. I have no benefits or paid vacation. I am more tired, more confused, but more joyful. I don't know how to explain it, but all I can say is there is a deep peace that runs in my soul. I have never been so content. I have never known that something is so right. I know that as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning all hell could break loose, but this is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it! He has called me to something that i would never have called myself to. All the naysayers congratulated me when I graduated from Graduate school. Then they quickly recanted when we said we were homeschooling. I guess when my kids win a Pulitzer prize or a gold medal in the Olympics then they will understand. It doesn't really matter to me what my kids grow up be, all I pray for them is that they follow God's plan. His plans don't always make sense at the time, but his ways are perfect. I don't' know why he chose us to teach our own children, but He does. I am trusting Him to help me when I am so tired I can't recall a simple fact because this is where He wants me.